Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you.

My apartment's not that hot yet, is it?
I can't tell, I adjust to heat well now.
I used to hate being hot, now I can't stand winter.
I always say I am one inch away from becoming a Snowbird and
I might just retire at 35 and open a hotel in Mexico. That would be next year if you are keeping track.
Thursday I leave for Massachusetts and could end up at the beach which seems strange.
Was I not shivering under my duvet two night ago?
Peedge is going to Vancouver while I'm away which means I have to miss him for 4 nights.
We hardly ever spend nights apart, just like Paul and Linda McCartney.
(I'll give you a minute to barf your brains out)
Well, you go find someone you like being with day in day out/ working together and all.
xoxo

D*#k In A Box.

Here is an exclusive inside look into my day at the country auction.
We were sitting in front of that white shirt dude and his annoying family the whole time. Who brings kids to an auction? It is patience testing even for the most Zen of adults. Add to that the Mr. Big, popscicle and root beer I saw the daughter scarf down one after the other.... jeez they were all up in my grill. Parents were miserable, kept going out for cigarettes and bitching.
I won that Bay blanket btw. Message me if you care:




Inquiring minds want to know, was this after the SNL digital short?

Okay, I go drink beer now.

???????????

Okay, so maybe I won't buy a minivan. I saw what's out there people and it is not pretty. Imagine your Mum's discarded grocery-getter but with interiors that appeared to have had murders cleaned out of the upholstery and a desperate scent of coconut in the air.
Bad news. What were people doing in those things?! I'm supposed to pay $10,000 for a disgusting forgotten memory? No thanks. I guess it's just me and my ol' pal Neon until an affordable, low-mileage, clean minivan falls from the sky.
Okay, gotta go!
Must steam clothes then go to Sarah's wedding shower!

New Whip.

Yes people, I am going to buy a minivan, deal with it.
Sometimes, in order to "get to the next level" you have to "take risks" and "throw caution to the wind." Some fear that I will compromise my inherent coolness and go the way of the Soccer Mom................


Impossible! I am not a Mom and I sure as hell don't play soccer. Maybe you should look into a mirror and ask yourself, are minivans so uncool that they are actually cool?

Tell me this isn't a sweet looking ride:

Don't ever ask me to help move your shitty couch Naysayers of the world. I'll be too busy, Cruisin' in my Minivan.

May 2-fer.

Went up north for a few days to help put in the dock and fix some pipes.....





"Cottage Jay" has a certain style that I like. Welding in a cloud of black flies= Level 10 Difficulty:

Don't let the glamor intensity burn your retinas. I was on my hands and knees in a damp, three foot high crawl space before this. Whatever excuse, nice neck, outfit and posture Geekburger:

Jay will NOT. TONE. IT. DOWN, so stop asking:

I drove out to a neighbouring town to get some emergency beer and the joint was crawling with hillbillies or "locals" as we'd say. Total I Spit On Your Grave Part II about to happen except I looked like a tomboy dirtpile, invisible to enemy. I made no eye contact with the car full of Deliverance as I briskly whipped into my Grandmother's Neon. Hard to look at all cool peeling out of the liquor trailer with "4 Grama" plates:

Deep Woods Off............

Sayonara.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

There's always something isn't there?
Take my brand new loud downstairs neighbors who like to suddenly and without warning blast music between the hours of 2am to 4am. But only on Friday and Saturday night and usually when I am in the core of darkest sleep. I have a new found hate-on for Arcade Fire thanks to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Douche, who are NOT twentysomethings but I'm guessing mid to late 30's. I will not lose this battle though, if I have to blare shitty music at precisely the hour before they have to wake up for their shitty jobs ritualistically for a year until they get the point, I will. It's on.



Other than that, I'm settling in nicely, thank you.

New Antiques/////////////////

All that you want.

Hey, stop going outside and continue reading this junk, I command you!
Peedge and I stopped in at Mandarin for lunch today on the way back from Ikea. Two wrongs do make a right, stuff your judgements in a sack. It's all-you-can-eat everything for $11.99, can't do better than that. As usual, the place was stuffed to the rafters with the elderly and eating disordered...............




Actual conversation that just took place two minutes ago:

Jay: Do you think there is people that eat there everyday?
Me: No, of course not, maybe once a week at minimum.
Jay: No way, I bet there are people that go more than that.
Me: Am I being naive?
Jay: You are being so naive.

I can't wait until we are truly settled and can start eating healthy and normal again.
The end.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Coming to you from Command Central Bed.
This is where all business is now conducted.
Computer, check.
Camera, check.
Beer, check.
Salsa, check.
There is nothing quite as unpleasant as rolling over onto crumbs of tortilla chips and popcorn.
My sofa dealy is here but wrapped in plastic, diagonal in the kitchen. It's coming together people. For now, I am Brian Wilson-ing it on the mattress.
Photos from my Technicolor Dream Apartment.....
A view of the church across the street:


I call this particular shade Insidious Cream:

Blow-Your-Brains-Out Blue:

I got the Michael Lewis piece I wanted from the auction after all:

A lettuce green bedroom will never do:

That is all I have to give,

Happy Friday......

Apartment Lifetime.

Laying in my new desk, aka my bed.
Working on getting a sofa type dealy so I don't overheat the computer with my duvet.
Today I put up two types of curtains= two types of annoying. I did them proper though, no nailing fabric directly into the wall this time.
My apartment feels big enough for me to soak in the minimalist vibe of my dreams. I realized while moving I need to get rid of even more stuff. Purge, purge, purge. I will be featured on A&E's new slice of life reality program "Organizers." You know, people will watch just about anything.
Getting used to the new sounds like traffic and the rumble of the subway. I like knowing that the subway rolls right below me. I told Peedge this morning it has something to do with the Zombie Apocalypse, like, I know that humanity is still safe if the subway works, or something like that.
Last night we reminisced about all of the craphole apartments we've had over the last 15 or so years. Too many to remember. My first apartment in Toronto was a part of a basement on Crawford St. It was literally the width of the length of my single bed and had one of those mini-fridge/stovetop combos. It was $450 and my next door neighbor was a heroin addict who kept a big dog in his studio unit. He borrowed my vacuum once and I swear it still smells like dog. We were friends for two months until I moved to another slightly less crappy basement that flooded with two inches of water the first week.
I've had psychotic roommates, tolerable roommates and live-in boyfriends. I was finished with roommates early on- I hated their messes and issues to the core.
I was a superintendent of two apartment buildings for years . I cleaned up trash, I cut lawns, I dealt with unruly tenants, homeless people, shovelled snow, destroyed cockroaches, bedbugs, mice, I went to court for my landlord who was entirely insane, I'm certain. I did it all for a mere discount on my rent. It was a crazy thing, little me doing all that.
I met Jay there, rented him his apartment. I would spy on him from my window and find reasons to knock on his door. It was meant to be; a happy ending to a tale of sadness, most of which can not be described here.
We moved to the back of the shop after that and I showered in my windowless dungeon basement and walked through the gallery at night in my PJ's. It was perfect for six months until we needed a refuge from work and found our last place.
Now we live here, two floors up from the goings on of Bloor Street. We'll be here for a while, I can feel it.

Om.

In a Moment of Zen at my shop right now..............


The auction is done, I moved house.
Now I must organize my life from top to bottom. It is no fun searching for socks for a half hour.
Some interesting things that happened this week:
1. A person from the mental health center stole a set of store keys off my desk and the whole day was spent upgrading the alarm, changing the locks and running around the neighborhood trying to recover said keys in vain. I had a laugh with the police about how pointless it was to have even called them over such a trivial matter. Lesson learned.

2. Went to finally look at my newly renovated 3 bdrm apartment on Friday only to discover that my landlord had decided to paint all the clean, white walls in the entire place different, funky colors without asking us. "Who would want to live in an all white apartment?" he asked.
Lesson learned.

I desperately need to do laundry tonight and begin putting Humpty back together again.
In my Old Life, I could always be on top of Everything. Never did I run out of floss or clean socks. For my New Life I have learned to accept that there is no on-top-of-everything.
I am Sisyphus, forever pushing piles of laundry up a hill only to have it topple back onto me.
New Reality of business ownership. We could have a self righteous argument all the live-long day about who is busier than who and why, but save your breath because I will win this week.