Blah!

I'm going post-al!
I stopped in at the 7-11 last night to see if the new Vogue was there (I buy Vogue once a month, I don't have time to get into the psychology of why) and lo and behold, there was Kate Hudson and her stupid sunny face staring me down. I know other bloggers have touched on the subject of stars gracing magazine covers instead of models but now it is starting to get annoying.
I was extremely underwhelmed while purchasing the mag-it was more of a duty than anything.



But.........Kate Hudson was on the cover of Vogue last July!!!!! There are only 12 months in the year, people! Do we have to recycle the same human over and over again? And what has Kate done for us lately anyway? "How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days." Did she win an Oscar for that?
Boooooooooorrrriiiinnnnng.

Le Awesome.

If I wanted to talk about artists that I really love, where would I begin? There are just too many.....
My heart is saying to me, Toulouse-Lautrec:


Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was a French post-impressionist painter who created the bulk of his work near the end of the 19th century. He broke both of his legs when he was young and his bones stopped growing and that is why he is so short, in case you were wondering.

Because of his deformity, he liked to hide himself away in the Montmartre district of Paris amongst the bohemians, prostitutes and performers. He actually lived at a brothel for some time and befriended the women which is why he had such intimate access to their daily lives:



God, what is this fascination I have with old-timey prostitutes? Is it the stockings?




This drawing is titled "Alone." It is a little bit heartbreaking:


Toulouse-Lautrec was also famous for documenting the "nightclub" scene of the day. He would hang out in pubs and dance halls like the Moulin Rouge and sketch the "scenesters." This is the closest thing to Misshapes they had in 19th century Paris:



This lady is "La Goulue" or The Glutton, and she was a famous dancer who was also known for drinking other people's drinks, hence the name. Needless to say, she died a penniless, depressed alcoholic:



The singer, Yvette Guilbert:


The colours in this print are beautiful. I once painted my bedroom inspired by the Toulouse-Lautrec palette:


People having a good time at the Moulin Rouge:





Moulin Rouge/Misshapes R.I.P.

Beh.

I made this new dress from two old t-shirts:


It looks pretty plain but up close it has nice lines. I will try making it out of different colours.....but you know me and black:

Random Inspiration #5.

Apollonia! No, not the Prince protege, the one from The Godfather:



Don't you remember? Michael Corleone is hiding out in his ancestral village in Sicily and he falls for this innocent and beautiful peasant girl. The marriage scene always melts my core:


One day, I'm going to leave my life here and go live amongst the goats and fig trees and wear simple dresses that I make myself:



Except I won't die in a car bomb explosion meant for my husband:



This Bottega Veneta dress captures the essence of my Italian fantasy:

Just cause.

I like these Daks by Giles Deacon dresses , is all.

Deal breakers: The Girl's Edition.

It's time to talk about some things that girls wear that really annoy me. Let's begin with the ever-present slogan tee. I'm okay with a good old - fashioned ironic "Chocolate is better than Sex" vintage t-shirt but it really burns me up when I see twelve year old girls wearing stuff like this:


Is this what our feminist predecessors were fighting for? The right to be openly slutty?
Note to tweens: this is not empowering:


Oh and if you really want your blood to boil, check out this site.
In my last deal breakers post, I talked about how I believe that guys should NEVER wear shorts in public under any circumstances (with the exception of playing sports, of course) Girls and shorts is a tricky issue. If you want to be the most bland human alive then these are for you:




Stop trying to make shorts acceptable in the workplace! It looks lazy:


Ughhhhhh:



Posh Spice has never ever, ever, ever looked good to me:



However, you CAN make shorts look cute. You just have to put some effort into! Having a great sense of style like Clothes Horse here makes a world of difference:



Moving along to denim now. I am on an eternal quest to find perfect jeans that have the right fit + wash. It is extremely difficult in modern times because stores are filled with this kind of fake whisker/flared crap:




I despise these frumpy back pockets. Jennifer Garner, are you listening?


These are only okay for Moms to wear when they are grocery shopping or if they just had an operation:



Oh God....I'm going to blow a gasket. whoooooo breathe. Just breathe. Is there any greater oxy- moron than "designer yoga wear?" Really, all you need to practice yoga is a towel and stretchy clothing- not $100 t-shirts and glorified track pants:




What's worse is that these "yoga" clothes are worn out in public. What a scam! People that buy into this mentality are suckers. If you want proof of how lame this concept is, check out the lululemon site. There is a quote on their homepage relating children and orgasms that left my mouth gaping for five minutes.


Do I even need to bring this up again? Girls, you can do better than flip-flops and you know it. Okay, let's get this straight. If you are at the beach or your cottage or having a barbeque in your backyard, then by all means, bust out the flip-flops:




But if you are say, going to the WHITE HOUSE to meet the PRESIDENT, then for God sakes, leave them at home. I know George Bush is a hillbilly, but you don't have to be!




Walking around the city all day in flip-flops isn't a good idea either. Your feet are not going to be protected from syringes and vomit with a half inch of rubber. If I ever buy flip-flops , these will be the ones I choose. At least they would accomplish something other than showing the world the blackened soles of my feet:

WWSD?

Hope you all have a great time celebrating the birth of the baby Santa!



HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Inspiration #4.

Prostitutes!
Yes, that's right, prostitutes of the 19th century. Today I decided to hunker down and watch season 3 of the great HBO series Deadwood. I always love what the girls of the "Gem" are wearing around their "workplace." This is the fictional character Trixie who is sort of the top hooker at the Gem. Socks by American Apparel (kidding!)



These are the "Bella Union" girls. A little too "classy" for my tastes:



What!??? You'd totally wear this outfit today and you know it. Nice pale dress/black tights combo:



I'm sure she was really happy and well adjusted inside:



I dig the belt and bow tie on this "lady." (this post is riddled with quotations)


Hipster whore. Don't get mad, they called themselves whores:


I'd wear the socks and shoes but with clothes:


Back in the Wild West days, prostitutes were called "soiled doves." How sad and poetic.